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Marc DUFRAISSE - AutentiCoach

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Wednesday 1 June 2011

The fantasy of unilateral command.

We human beings are complete, creative and resourceful. To become adults, we learn to be independent. And to be interdependent in relating, sharing and working with other people.

How come we have fantasies about power? About having people under our control?

We don’t like receiving orders. We like to contribute on missions that motivate us, that we are passionate about. On topics aligned with our beliefs, our values, our objectives.

But if someone gives an order, we tend to sneak away.
Depending on who’s giving it. If we admire or love the person, we may want or accept being under the influence.
But if it’s your boss at work and the only reason to obey is to keep your job ...You’ll end up fulfilling the request. But your motivation level may not be very high ...

Then, why do we have this belief that leading people is about giving orders?
Where does it come from?
Could it be related to our education?

All along our childhood we learned to be sitting for hours listening to boring and sleepy teachers explain how to be educated and intelligent. How docile we have to be from a very early age!
At home our parents continuously tell us what to do and how to do it.
If we go to university, we are told that we are the country's elite, that we are going to drive the economy of the future, that we’ll be tomorrow’s managers and entrepreneurs.

It’s not surprising that with these experiences we become disciplined and arrogant soldiers. With dreams of grandeur, with a vain and conceited posture... and authoritarian managerial fantasies!

On the contrary, the truth in management lies in human relationships, in contact, connection, empathy, support, recognition. The basics are listening, communicating, negotiating, discussing and sharing. With open feedback, with honesty and integrity.
Management is about stretching for the other person, sharing a mission, an activity, objectives. It is about planning and organizing in teams to deliver a service, a product, to get a result.

Today, more than ever, people need a meaningful work. They need to contribute to something compatible with who they are. The management style is key to motivate people and have creative, open,  fully committed teams.

To acheive this, managers need to have listening skills, openness, empathy that allow them to connect with the teams and meet their expectations or needs.
The manager must have human values. It has to be more human, more authentic, more himself / herself. More of a leader.

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