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Marc DUFRAISSE - AutentiCoach Partners

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Unleash your Potential

Unleash your Potential
Unleash your Potential

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Do you have an answer for everything?


Have you ever had conversations with someone, a friend, a colleague, a relative, a person that  knew it all, that had all the answers, had a solution to everything?

How were you feeling during this conversation? How did you feel afterwards?
Did you feel you were listened to, heard, supported, secure, supported, advised? Did you feel that person helped you in any way?
Or did you feel alone, frustrated, denied, violated ... You felt that the other did not listen, stayed in his/her little world of certainty and vanity, a world that had nothing to do with you ... You were left exhausted, demoralized, depressed. ..
What about you? Did it ever happen to you to have all the answers? Think about it... I'm sure it did...
You had certainties, everything seemed so clear, limpid, the issues or problems that were risen were so simple, so obvious, so crystal clear ....!
... So simple and obvious to you, from your point of view... What about the other person in front? Did your posture help him/her in any way? Did your certainties bring any comfort?
Listening is not just about receiving and processing information in order to respond.
It is also empathy, being present in the moment, being in the other’s shoes, understanding, letting the other speak and find his/her way ...
In general, other people do not need your answers, they need to create their own answer...
What about you? Do you prefer to supply solutions...?
Or would you rather help other people out in finding their own answers?

4 comments:

  1. VERY NICELY EXPRESSED! IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS THAT WE THINK WE HAVE ANSWERS FOR ALL THE CLIENT'S PROBLEMS BUT CLIENTS FEEL THAT NONE OF THE SOLUTIONS ARE IMPLEMENTABLE. IT IS THEREFORE BETTER TO MAKE THE CLIENT FIND ANSWERS ON HIS OWN BUT WE CAN DEFINITELY CONTRIBUTE IN CLIENT FINDING HIS OWN ANSWERS AND ALSO HELP HIM IN IMPLEMENTING OF COURSE WITH HIS OVERALL CONTROL.

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  2. Selling is often about finding the most appropriate answers with clients, building solutions with them.
    This means deserving the right to do so by developing the right relationship up front...and avoiding coming up with all the answers...
    Thanks for the comments and support.

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  3. Someone who has all the answers is someone you want to run from, and fast. Quite often in my line of work, management consulting and communications, I come across people who have answers before the question is even asked. It's as if they do not have time to listen, or think, or even the ability to pause and soak up what the other person may truly be asking. Why is this? For consultants, it is often, I feel, because they feel they are being paid to know, and if they don't know, it is a sign of weakness, or a kind of personal business failure.

    The truly authentic consultant, or teacher, or advice-giver is one that can pause for a moment and consider the question, perhaps even engage in a 360 degree discussion that works out the options and issues. The really good consultants present themselves as facilitators of wisdom, whatever form that takes for the right solution.

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  4. Great comments Bob!! I totally agree.
    Taking the time to really listen, to pause, to vary the angles and perspectives on what is happening... just to facilitate a process towards defining and implementing solutions.
    As you say, "facilitators of wisdom". Great stuff . Thanks

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