The Power of Vulnerability

What does your client want, really?

Do you really listen?
Are you curious and open enough to listen?

Sometimes I'm amazed by the attitude of some sales people.
They are so focused on their products, offers and promotions that they tend to forget about the only thing that really matters, the customer!

For years the economy was thriving, there was money and optimism ... The commercial just needed to know how to fill in order forms ....

Now that is more complicated, when confidence is missing, these attitudes do not work ...

In what state is your client?

What do you feel?
Does he have the power to decide?
Who else can influence the purchase decision?
WIIIFM? What's in it for him in this sale?
What is at stake for him?
What are the risks he's taking with this?

But above all, in general .... What does he want?

Do you have a good understanding of what he wants or have you been too focused on your stuff (your goals, your offerings, competition, ..), and blinded by the pressure and stress to close the sale?

Beyond your products and services, connect with your customers.
Hear what they say and try to perceive what they do not tell you ... The key to your success may well be there.

What do you think your customer really wants?

What impact does stress have on you?

    For optimum proactivity and performance, it is important for a collaborator to be independent and interdependent, to be able to add value, collaborate, to easily and fluently interact with others.

   In a previous post we have defined this position for communication as "+ / +". It's a positive way of relating with others with openness, cooperation and respect. (link post http://authenticity-marc.blogspot.com.es/2012/05/how-do-you-relate-to-others.html).

   When difficulties, uncertainty and conflicts arise, when the levels of pressure and requirement increase, the usual position of communication may be impacted and change.

   All the more professional, competent and "great communicators" they may be, employees may gradually fall into states of exhaustion and stress.

Effects of pressure and stress
on the team members' behaviours

   Then the natural and efficient "+/+" posture, depending on the personality of each one, may "fall" into positions of "defence" like:

- "+ / -": More authoritarian, more demanding and rigid, to extremes can become arrogant and aggressive, or

- "- / +": the opposite, more passive, quiet, dependent, with possible loss of confidence and sense of inferiority.

   The general impact is clearly a loss in the efficiency and agility of the individuals and teams.

On a personal level, how does this sound to you?
When you're under stress, in what schemes do you tend to fall?
When you do, what would your needs be?

How do you relate to others?

What position do you adopt in your relationships?
How do you relate? How do you usually relate?
What positions do you have in your relationships?

The balance in a relationship comes from the ability people have to communicate and listen, from their levels of openness and trust.
You can perceive a relationships you are having in 4 different basic ways: - / -, - / +, + / - and + / +.

The first sign symbolizes the image that a person has of himself in the relationship.The second symbolizes the image he has of the other person.

These types of relationship do not define the reality but the inside perception of one person  facing another person.
Thus:

1 - Position - / - is totally negative, a relationship of pessimism and depression.  
2 - Position - / + is a strong feeling of being inferior, submitted.
3 - The + / - is the opposite, a perception of superiority, authority, aggressiveness and arrogance.
4 - The position + / + is one of cooperation and openness. It is the place where starts autonomy and personal development.

The position of life + / + allows

• accepting yourself and accepting others as they are
• connecting and being close to others
• having the appropriate level of confidence in oneself
• adopting an attitude of openness and negotiation

It is the basic ingredient for interdependence, the starting point of personal leadership. It's the position of assertive leaders capable of Win-Win relationships and alliances.

How do you perceive your current relationships with others?
Is something missing for you to be 100 per cent in the + / +?

What's preventing you from meeting your objectives?

There are few moments in life when we have clarity.
Clarity about what we want, what motivates us. About the direction to take. About our dreams, ambitions, goals. Clarity that gives us enthusiasm, connection, energy ...

When we experience clarity, it's magical. Everything is simple, spot on, crystal clear...

But... life gets in the way ... What happens? 

We start to hear our internal rumours ... our internal skeptics think we are crazy, nuts, unrealistic, our saboteurs tell us we can't make it, our victimism convinces us it is too dangerous, we'll fail ...

External noises follow up ... our friends think our ideas are great but totally crazy... our families look at us with disapproval and anxiety ...

So before even starting to dig into what is really important to us, you may decide it will not be feasible, not worth wasting time, just not possible. You already give up !

When was the last time you had a moment of clarity?

What brakes prevented you from going for your goals?