The art of negotiation (3): Are you part of the problem?

What is the subject? 

What are you negotiating? 
Are you part of the subject? 

Negotiating is being able to look at a topic from all perspectives in order to study and build solutions. 

If you are part of it, you'll hardly take distance, adopt other perspectives, turn around the subject. 

Separate people from the subject. 
Isolate the subject from you or the other 
You will make it more manageable, less vital, more solvable. 

What is the subject?

Do you separate or unite?

Do you divide or bring together?

Do you feel you are different and ignore others, not wanting to know about them...
  ... or ...
Do you respect differences, looking at what others contribute to, learning from their approaches, their contributions.
   
Are you competitive, fighting to become more efficient and productive than the colleague ...
  ... or ...
Generous, supporting others, learning from them and building winning collaborations.

Are you in scarcity, contempt, distrust, individualism ...
... or ...
In abundance, humility, support, collective spirit.

What is more natural to you?
Where do you feel more comfortable?

Are you dividing or bringing together?
Competing or sharing?
Criticising or trusting?
Do you Separate or Unite?

The art of negotiation (2): Are you curious?

We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.

Do you know of the other’s world ?.

Do you negotiate with their world? or do you stay in yours?.

You do not know what you do not know.

Be humble and flexible. Be open. Listen. Inquires.

Go for what you do not know.

Be curious of the other. 

Learn. Understand. Progress..

It will give you assets when negotiating.

The Art of Negotiation (1) : Do you listen?

92% of the time we are in our thoughts, in our reasoning.
Although we seem to listen, we focus on ourselves.
We listen to respond, not to understand.

The basics of negotiation are to build solutions with the other party.

Listen until the end to what the other is saying.
Listen to what they say and to what is not said.

Leave them their space. 
Hear them really.
Only this will help you co-build a powerful solution.

Do you know how to say no?

Do you know how to say no for what is important to you?

It's easy to say "yes". 
The art of leadership is knowing how to say "no".

What do you want in your life? In your work?
Where are your limits?
Do you respect them and do you get others to respect them too?

Being aware of your own desires and limits is essential to feel good about yourself ... if you can express your limits when necessary.

What is really important to you?
Where is worth putting limits?

Do not stay with an internal conflict. Express your position. Speak up. Communicate. Negotiate.

Do you know coaching can help you develop these abilities? Contact us at info@autenticoach.com

The three filters of the wise leader

A collaborator comes to the wise leader and says:
- I have to tell you about the behaviour of one your team members
The wise leader:
- Let me stop you: Have you passed what you mean to tell me through the three filters test ?
- The three filters ?
- Your words must pass through three filters . The first is the truth. Have you checked that what you want to tell me is true?
- No, I have heard about it and ...
- Well, then you have certainly made it go through the second filter, that of goodness. Is what you want to tell me something good?
- No, quite the opposite ....
- Turning then to the third filter: is what you want to say useful?
- Useful? Not really ...
- Well... if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor useful, I prefer not to hear it. As for you, I advise you to just forget it.

Truth, Goodness, Utility.

Difference... for what?

Why hire different profiles, personalities, people?
Why recruit people with different pathways, studies, with atypical original experiences ?

Because they bring a different look, new perspectives, innovative reasonings ...

The difference is not intended to be competitive, to create competition.
It brings complementarity, wealth, questioning, debate, creativity, innovation.

Do not recruit clones.
Hire different, diverse people

And take advantage of this difference, encourage it, allow it to express and enrich the team and bring innovation and results.

Do you accept the difference?
Do you let it express itself?
Do you allow it to contribute to the organization, to the business?

Email us at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching and training can help you address your challenges

Happy year 2015!

We live in a world of appearances.

They are a smokescreen that limit our potential.

We need to fight for our Authenticity. 

Our difference.

I wish you an

Authentic, Generous and Abundant 2015!

Does it make sense?

Does what you are doing make sense ?

Does what you are experiencing make sense ?

What sense are you giving to what you are living?

Do not forget your values. Your story.

Do not forget yourself.

Take a path that is consistent with what you want, with what you want to bring, with how you wish to contribute to this world.

What gives you energy? What puts you in motion?

Are they present in your life today?

Is your daily life encouraging and inspiring ?

What sense do you give to your life?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

Are you worth it?

Do you get what you deserve?

What do you deserve?

You complain of not being recognized, appreciated, rewarded?

Do you adopt a position of inferiority, weakness, victim through which you demand what is due to you ...

...or...

Do you have a strong, enterprising, persevering posture, through which you do not give up and you keep acting with initiative and creativity?

You deserve the attention, respect, attention, support from others...

You deserve their recognition, affection, friendship, love...

If you want or claim more, make the right choice ... Adopt now a committed, persistent, resilient attitude to get it ... and always act with respect, humility, honesty ...

Do you get what you deserve?

How is your attitude?

Email me at info@autenticoach.comfor more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

Career Management: A matter of attitude

The labour market is more demanding than ever.

What is required is constantly increasing.

A Master is often a requirement to access qualified jobs.

The race for diplomas is incessant and exaggerated.

Exaggerated because what really matters for a professional actively looking are not qualifications or knowledge ...

What is important are capabilities and attitude ... Capabilities to adapt, learn, communicate, work ...

Attitude of curiosity, interest, maturity, commitment, initiative, leadership ...  ...

Studies may help achieve these qualities ... or on the contrary, turn you away from them.

The education system is mostly based on getting into a mould, on complying with criteria, on controlling knowledge, developing skills ...

It does not help being yourself, different, active, original. It does not teach you attitude.

Study, but do not expect a diploma to give you the work you dream of.

This work you will get with your attitude, your initiative and your energy.

How is your attitude?

Are you addicted to information?

Of what information are you depending?

What information are you addicted to?

Of what data are you a prisoner?

Information is omnipresent and overly abundant.

Information is today’s prison. Today’s addiction.

Are you an addict on information?

We are drowning in an overload of information, of data, of contradictory opinions.

We are like headless chicken taken in a permanent tsunami of news, headlines, ads, mails, videos, spam….

We get lost in this profusion of useless turmoil, of unstoppable background noise…

How are you feeling in the middle of it?

Is there any relevant message you get out of all this?

The info out there is not as indispensable as you've come to believe…

It may even be unhealthy for you, invading, excessive...

Turn off everything.

Turn off your head. Break your routine.

Take time for yourself…Discover boredom...

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

Demanding and Forgiving

In most companies the challenges are so high in terms of competitiveness and profitability that they affect the levels of confidence and efficiency of collaborators.

It is when companies need the most to be able to fight or innovate that the context encourages collaborators to be cautious and conservative in their attitudes.

All companies have systems that deal with objectives, duty, commitment ... and punishment ... In trying to organize and systematize procedures, they kill diversity and individuality, they muzzle initiative and innovation.

A powerful management value can balance the situation: the ability to forgive.

Forgiveness is not that present in companies because success is an obligation, a requirement. Success is not negotiable. Accepting forgiveness would open the door to error, to failure. Unacceptable!

The ability to forgive is the foundation of trust.
Forgiving mistakes or failures gives the opportunity to learn in order to improve, to miss in order to succeed.

The best professionals are not those who never make mistakes. They are those who fail and learn their lessons.

Do you give your team a chance?
Do you create an environment of trust that allows novelty, difference?
Can you forgive?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

How do you treat yourself?

Are you managing your energy, your schedule, your desires, your goals in a flexible and reasonable way, always looking for your wellness and balance?
or
Do you strive to get what you decided to get, do you put pressure on yourself to move, study, work, finish your tasks and get the results that you decided?

How do you perceive your life?

Is it a subtle balance of work, performance, and good times to have fun and enjoy?
or
Is it like a long distance race where there is little time and much to do?

Are you self-demanding?
How do you perceive yourself?
How do you judge yourself?
Can you forgive yourself?

How do you manage your balance?
Do you take care of yourself?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

Leadership and Selflessness

True self-interest teaches selflessness.

Heaven and earth endure because they are not simply selfish but exist in behalf of all creation.

The wise leader, knowing this, keeps egocentricity in check and by doing so becomes even
more effective.

Enlightened leadership is service, not selfishness. 

The leader grows more and lasts longer by placing the well-being of all above the well-being of self alone.

Paradox: 
By being selfless, the leader enhances self.

The Tao of Leadership
Lao Tsu / John Heider

Addicted to winning

We are addicted to winning.

When something is resisting, when we make mistakes or fail, we are filled with sadness, discouragement, anger ... We lose our self confidence, our self-esteem. We suffer from it...

What is winning? It is about nourishing our competitiveness, our ego, it is about competing ... If we win, others lose ... others who are not as "good" as we are....
What is success? It feeds our ego. It enhances this illusion of being a star, a superhero, a superman or superwoman ...

Winning and success are the illusion of having arrived, of having achieved it... And now what? Has the time stopped? That's it, I succeeded... Are you sure? What have you achieved? Does it make sense?

For me, our frustration, our endless sabotage comes from these ideas, these expectations ... winning, success ... We tend to desperately hold on to these goals, these clichés, these chimeras without connecting with what we really want deep inside... we are fooling ourselves in owning, having ... rather than being...

Far from the stereotypes, deep inside yourself ... what is / what would it be for you to win? ... What would success look like? ...

And what if happiness was not in neither ... not in winning nor in succeeding ...
If you were to let go, to let go of these chimeras, of these overwhelming ideas and focus on your true expectations, on what is really important for you ... Perhaps that would be look more like success ... don't you think?

What is important to you? What is success for you?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

What is your team’s mindset ?

The relationship between employees and management is a key factor in the ability to motivate, mobilize and provide performance and commitment to the company.

What are the employees’ expectations ?
What was promised to them?
On what basis was the collaboration with business established? ...and does it still exist today?

In an effort to motivate their team and meet their demands, managers tend to make commitments or suggest opportunities that are unrealistic.

As circumstances do not always allow to fulfill these commitments, the collaborator can develop a sense of not being listened to, not being appropriately valued or recognised .... especially if a clear and honest conversation is not held to address these unrealized opportunities .

Managers often live in the short term, in search for solutions to today's challenges ... they forget the possible “debt” created in their relationship with the employee ... and this conversation rarely occurs ...

Then the relationships between the collaborators and their management become distant... The collaborators may feel their management is being dishonest and manipulative when the truth is they just lack the rigor, the attention and the courage to address these important issues.

One enters a company for its image and brand.
And resigns because of its managers or executives..

How do you manage your collaborators’ expectations?
Are you listening to them?
What is your relationship with them?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

Abundance or Scarcity?

Are you living in abundance or in scarcity?
What fills your life? 
What do you feel is missing?

The way we live our life depends on how we perceive it.

Are we happy with what we have? Or do we want more?

How do you live? Do you enjoy the moment? Or are you always expecting something, a vacation, an entry of money, a new car, something to happen...?

The perceptions of abundance or scarcity are first created in our minds. They are not related to the money we have or what we possess ...

Being envious of your neighbour who has more or terrified to lose what you have will never bring you serenity or happiness.
Happiness is about being satisfied and grateful for what you have.
It is about living according to your principles and values​​, about deciding where you want to go, fighting for what you want and put aside what we do not want...

Scarcity is about being competitive, directive and unsatisfied. It's being perfectionist and demanding.
Abundance is being generous and trusting with oneself, with others, with life.

I do not believe in sacrifice, in pressure, in forcing for things to happen.
I believe in generosity and trust, in the team, in surpassing oneself and persevering to achieve results.

Where are you? Are you living closer to abundance or to scarcity?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

Who are you being right now?

What makes your moods , what does occupy your thoughts, what worries your nights ?

Who are you being in your job, your company , in your professional relationships?

Before uttering a single word , what does emanate from you, from your person, your posture, your gestures ?

We are who we are...in a safe, undeniable, concrete, powerful way...

But who are you being right now...who are you being while reading these words?

What are your beliefs? Your certainties ?

What are your questions? Your challenges?

What you are focusing on...concentrating on ?

What have you abandoned...what have you left out?

How are you communicating? Who are you to your environment ?

Do you feel free and present ?

Or do you feel pressured and prisoner?

Become aware of where you are and where you want to be.

If you like what you see , you are on the right path...

If you do not like what you see, identify what is missing and fight for it ...

Are you at the service of who you want to be tomorrow ?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

Want to change others?

When we are young, we think that everything is possible, you can change the world, you can change others.

We put a lot of energy into it. We develop many strategies for this. We strive and make it one of our important battles.

Until we realize that no, it is not worth it. Not possible. You cannot change others. It is presumptuous and arrogant to think we can...

While we do not understand this, we lose our time trying to change others, we have a bad time not accepting what there is... We focus on aspects that do not depend on us .... We feel frustrated, discontent, dissatisfied , sad ... We struggle ...We feel nor satisfied nor free ...

The day we know we are the ones who have to change, that we have to drop these ridiculous demands, this misplaced perfectionism ... then we begin to accept what surrounds us, as it is .... and to accept others as they are ...

Then we can create change ... not to others ... but in ourselves, in our way of being, of relating to the world. We change the way we act and interact, that way that was perhaps our real source of frustration in the past...

We change our role and the world changes ... The others change ....

They are the same people but we no longer offer them the same selves, the same games, the same interactions, the same scenarios ... We do not act the same, we are not the same ...

We create new contexts that do not allow what he had before. They create something different.

We made it. We changed the world. We have changed our position, we have changed and doing so we have changed the others.

NOTHING CHANGES. I CHANGE AND EVERYTHING CHANGES.

Have you experienced such a change?

Everything has changed for you too?

BE NOW THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD

What do you think?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges