When we prepare for interviews, meetings or negotiations we design a clear idea of what we want.
We define what we aim for, set the way we want things to happen, create a complete argumentation to support our vision, ideas and solution.
We’ve studied the other part(s)’s context , we visualized the possible options and opinions they might have, we set the arguments to respond to these and convince them to accept our position and decisions.
We feel confident we prepared more than enough and that the meeting could just be a formality towards our goal.
What do you think may happen then ?
How can expectations kill performance?
We arrive so full up of our own vision, our reality, our opinion and ideas that we may just be unable to listen to and figure out what the other(s) actually think or want.
We are so focused on our agenda that we become blind to all the non verbal signs and attitudes our counterpart may show.
We’ve become so rigid with our own understanding, perspective and solutions that we become unable to undo them and rebuild alternate options.
We are not 100% present, we are unable to really listen, we avoid any really deep exchange, we unintentionally limit any true communication.
The only context in the conversation was our reality, our focus, our agenda.
We missed the possible richness of sharing realities, visions, perceptions to decide and take action.
We decided everything beforehand…For what did that conversation take place?
How to avoid having monologues in parallel?
How can we really have a conversation?
When preparing for a meeting, make sure to create an appropriate context for it to be effecitve and all along stay open to building a solution with other participants. Make sure to create and maintain a productive process, to create rapport and be present.
Yes! Plan carefully...then forget about it!
Learn to be open, curious, creative, flexible… Listen, feel, think, connect, understand and build a solution together.
Co create a shared solution.
With empowering decisions
And an aligned committment on actions
Do you have winning conversations?