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Marc DUFRAISSE - AutentiCoach Partner

We create spaces for the growth of people, teams and companies.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Competing with whom? Surpass oneself or surpass others? Be the best we can be or be better than others?


Competition. As children we love to compete.
We want to be faster, more agile, more clever than the others ....
Competing is fun. It puts us in movement, motivates us, teaches us the values ​​of the effort, of learning and improving.
We also learn to deal with frustration, to accept the fact we cannot always win. It also demonstrates what diversity is all about, that there are some sports where you excel and others you are terrible at.

As children, there is a less exhilarating competition. The one with brothers.The struggle there is to be more noticed by the parents or family, is to have more presents, more hugs, better relationship, more attention, more love. This competition is relentless, it eats us, it imprisons us, overwhelms us, because we always compare and it’s without limits.

If we stay in an attitude of being in competition, we can become pathetic, unbearable, always wanting to be the best. Unhappy.
Luckily with time we generally learn to accept our limits, accept losing and learn humility. We learn to rise again after falling down, to let go when there are no more possibilities. We don't always try to demonstrate to others how great and lovable we are.

Unless we get stuck in the belief that life is nothing but competition with others.

Then the relation with others tends to limit itself to proving you're right, you're the most clever, trustworthy and reliable person. You become arrogant and very quickly can become unbearable.

We all learn differently from our life experiences. And the paradigms, the vision of the world that we are taught and that we will develop will make the difference in the beliefs we have. In our expectations towards ourselves and our relations with others.

In fact we are at the same time our best friend and our worst enemy and the only competition that is really valuable is the competition with ourselves. Surpassing ourselves. 

This drives self-awareness, self-management, self accomplishment and leads to personal growth.

Competition is then about getting the best out of who we are, without having to compare any more to others.

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