We are addicted to winning.
When something is resisting, when we make mistakes or fail, we are filled with sadness, discouragement, anger ... We lose our self confidence, our self-esteem. We suffer from it...
What is winning? It is about nourishing our competitiveness, our ego, it is about competing ... If we win, others lose ... others who are not as "good" as we are....
What is success? It feeds our ego. It enhances this illusion of being a star, a superhero, a superman or superwoman ...
Winning and success are the illusion of having arrived, of having achieved it... And now what? Has the time stopped? That's it, I succeeded... Are you sure? What have you achieved? Does it make sense?
For me, our frustration, our endless sabotage comes from these ideas, these expectations ... winning, success ... We tend to desperately hold on to these goals, these clichés, these chimeras without connecting with what we really want deep inside... we are fooling ourselves in owning, having ... rather than being...
Far from the stereotypes, deep inside yourself ... what is / what would it be for you to win? ... What would success look like? ...
And what if happiness was not in neither ... not in winning nor in succeeding ...
If you were to let go, to let go of these chimeras, of these overwhelming ideas and focus on your true expectations, on what is really important for you ... Perhaps that would be look more like success ... don't you think?
What is important to you? What is success for you?
Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges
Very insightful post. The scary thing is that all this winning/losing nonsense comes from our need to prop up our self-esteem.
ReplyDeleteIf we think we've won in a particular situation, our self-esteem goes up. If we think we've lost, it goes down.
We therefore become addicted to the self-esteem boost created by winning and become fearful of the self-esteem drop if we lose. This disables our thinking ability because we are effectively running on emotions rather than using our rational and logical capacity to determine the most appropriate action to take.
It's all a big stroking match, to coin a phrase from the great George Carlin.
Who determines we are winning...or not...?
ReplyDeleteThere are some materialistic symbols out there that we cannot avoid buying and being influenced by...
There is a frenetic chase for success and winning that does not come from inside, but from social pressure... A chase that isolates us even more from who we are and what we really want deep inside...