Want to change others?

When we are young, we think that everything is possible, you can change the world, you can change others.

We put a lot of energy into it. We develop many strategies for this. We strive and make it one of our important battles.

Until we realize that no, it is not worth it. Not possible. You cannot change others. It is presumptuous and arrogant to think we can...

While we do not understand this, we lose our time trying to change others, we have a bad time not accepting what there is... We focus on aspects that do not depend on us .... We feel frustrated, discontent, dissatisfied , sad ... We struggle ...We feel nor satisfied nor free ...

The day we know we are the ones who have to change, that we have to drop these ridiculous demands, this misplaced perfectionism ... then we begin to accept what surrounds us, as it is .... and to accept others as they are ...

Then we can create change ... not to others ... but in ourselves, in our way of being, of relating to the world. We change the way we act and interact, that way that was perhaps our real source of frustration in the past...

We change our role and the world changes ... The others change ....

They are the same people but we no longer offer them the same selves, the same games, the same interactions, the same scenarios ... We do not act the same, we are not the same ...

We create new contexts that do not allow what he had before. They create something different.

We made it. We changed the world. We have changed our position, we have changed and doing so we have changed the others.

NOTHING CHANGES. I CHANGE AND EVERYTHING CHANGES.

Have you experienced such a change?

Everything has changed for you too?

BE NOW THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD

What do you think?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

Conflict and Negotiation: Are you part of the problem?

Effective negotiations occur when both parties are able to look at the problem from all possible angles to be open, flexible and creative when building a
solution.

Sometimes the problem is so important, what is at stake is so great that without noticing it people slowly become part of the problem.

When you are the problem, how you want to step back, not get caught , vary perspectives to propose options .... No way!

You are stuck on the issue ... you feel bad ... you take it personally ... you do not flow .

What is the problem? What do you want? What are you looking for?

Are you willing to be flexible , to listen, interact , build a solution with the other?

Or are you tense , rigid , pissed off, overwhelmed, angry...

Are you able to look at the issue with all its components,  all its potential benefits , all its possible limitations?

Breathe.

Put aside the labels, the prejudices.

Work on your flexibility, on your curiosity with the other.

Open yourself , go beyond appearances , be curious, listen ...

Free yourself , be creative, agile.

To do so do not block yourself emotionally.

Manage yourself, lead yourself, lead the negotiation , drive the conversation , manage the relationship with intuition and expertise .... The results depend on it.

Are you part of the problem or are you ready to co - construct a solution?

Do you want Human Resources or resourceful Humans?

Who is accountable for delivering results?

Is it the owner, the CEO, the Board, the middle managers, the employees ...?

How to influence without overwhelming, to lead without pressing, to direct without controlling?

The influence and efficiency of managers go beyond their ability to articulate and communicate what they want .... They are in their ability to be open to the others, leave them space, collaborate with them .... So they understand, express, digest what's going on... so they commit and define how they will respond with their own resources ....

At any moment managers can fall into the trap of imposing, of forcing, of pushing.

A tactic that works in the short term ... especially if the company is used to managing by fear ...

But a short-term tactic that will not trigger the people’s and teams’ essential resources ...

It will not mobilize these abilities enhanced by true commitment and passion… Abilities like creativity, flexibility, agility, transversality, transparency... Skills that respond to new situations, new challenges, new competition...

We don’t need Human Resources .. but humans with resources, people who are leaders in their personal and professional lives ... doers in the business ... business entrepreneurs.

What do you want in your team? Human Resources or resourceful Humans?

How do you manage teams?

Leadership is Doing less and Being more

Run an honest, open group.

Your job is to facilitate and illuminate what is happening. Interfere as little as possible. Interference, however brilliant, creates a dependency on the leader.

The fewer rules the better. Rules reduce freedom and responsibility. Enforcement of rules is coercive and manipulative, which diminishes spontaneity and absorbs group energy.

The more coercive you are, the more resistant the group will become. Your manipulations will only breed evasions. Every law creates an outlaw. There is no way to run a group.

The wise leader establishes a clear and wholesome climate in the group room. In the light of awareness, the group naturally acts in a wholesome manner.

When the leader practices silence, the group remains focused. When the leader does not impose rules, the group discovers its own goodness. When the leader acts unselfishly, the group simply does what is to be done.

Good leadership consists of doing less and being more.

The Tao of Leadership - Lao Tzu

The Three Key Levels of Change Management

Change is always present in our lives.

Every day is new, fresh, uncertain, infinite in its possibilities.

In business, change is complicated to manage. While each day has its problems and challenges, the relationships, teams, people and processes tend to become rigid, inflexible.

Organizations tend to focus on certain aspects of the business, on certain subjects or perspectives. It make them shortsighted, prevents them from seeing everything there is in the environment ...
The limited perception of reality and the daily routines do not always generate the awareness and sense of urgency necessary for change to happen...

Leading change is the ability to focus and be committed on the company's vision and business in a global cross-functional way.
It is the ability to ask questions, takes decisions, communicate, implement, review and adjust with agility and perseverance.

Change happens at Three Levels
- The Individual level, the person, posture, perceptions, roles
- The Relationships level, the dynamics, fluidity and openness in one to one relations
- The Teams level, the relational systems, organization, culture, the formal and informal roles and responsibilities.

Change needs the commitment of every person and of the organization.
It feels uncomfortable, uncertain, insecure.
But when the uncertainty and insecurity that are generated are shared in an environment of support, trust, commitment and initiative, Change can only be a success for the company.

How do you handle change in your company?

For more information

How to give an open, honest and productive feedback ?

Authoritarian management styles reduce the teams' levels of motivation and flexibility.

When a management team rigidly gives orders, the ability of the organization to adapt and provide an exclusive level of service becomes more limited.

For that reason, developing emotional intelligence , connecting and building rapport with collaborators and teams enhance optimism, confidence, empowerment, motivation.

A more connected management style nevertheless entails certain risks. The proximity, the affective and emotional connection with the teams can create an unwanted and unproductive consequence: the inability to give feedback openly, clearly and efficiently.
 As if the manager, when developing a more intimate and harmonious relationship with collaborators, would start fearing this confrontation and would feel uncomfortable to challenge them on their results or development.

 The connection , syntony, proximity of managers with their teams need to be genuine, honest . It is the only way for them not to be manipulative.

 This connection should enable managers to dare to share their expectations , opinions , feedbacks , testimonials openly... honestly but flexibly ...

 For managers, the challenge lies in always being aware of who they are as individuals, in giving feedback with humility and detachment, so as to share and build solutions from listening, sharing, exchanging, negotiating ...

 Build rapport, not paralysis.

 Are you capable of honesty and openness in your feedbacks ?

Is it time for change?

It is difficult to know when it's time to change ... Time to change strategies, tactics, attitude, posture.

It takes some time to realize that this is not working, we're not on the proper path, on the appropriate way ...

When we are accustomed to responding to challenges in a certain way, it is difficult to stop and convince yourself that it is not appropriate.

Many beliefs pollute the business world.

Personal, collective beliefs, based on past experiences, on routines, built from appearances ...

When something is not working with the desired results, do not obstinately give more of the same …

Maybe it's time to stop, to step back. change perspective, change strategy ...

Maybe you have to stop forcing destiny. sacrificing with antiquated tactics, with activities from the past .

Maybe you need to let go, to let the pressure down, to give yourself a chance to see the situation from a different perspective, from another angle ...

Time for less of the same, for something different ...

Where do you think you should stop forcing, stop putting force or pressure?

What other perspective would you like to try?

What will you let go? Where will you innovate?

Conflicts : Should we accept them or ban them ?

How useful are conflicts ?

Do conflicts in a company emphasize its dynamism or its disorganization ?

Should managers accept or ban conflicts?

Behind conflict there are unidentified, unaddessed needs... there are perspectives and views that yet have not been taken into account.

Beyond conflict there possibly are new ideas for improvement, new business opportunities or areas for the organization's development .

Conflict is a proof that there is motivation, commitment, dynamism.

The problem is that conflict situations appeal to emotions . They are uncomfortable. They create tension. They are therefore difficult to handle.

They push people into uncertainty, into danger. They generate adrenaline, create urgency, connect us with our most animal side, possibly pushing us towards passivity, aggression or flight.

They bring out our emotions, our vulnerability, our fragility. 

At the same time a conflict is a evidence that this is important, that this is serious. That this is worth fighting for. 

A company without conflict is a dormant, somnolent, numb company.

Are there conflicts in your business?

Do you handle them? Do you avoid them?
How do you feel about them?

Take advantage of conflicts. Learn to manage them and you'll get extraordinary results.

The Power of Authenticity : Have the courage to be Authentic!

Do you manage the process?

The responsibility of the manager is not on content, it is on process .

Managers often have a wrong approach.

They focus on business, on results, and only see the teams as resources to reach goals and objectives.

They lose sight of something important : the team.

The objective of the manager is clearly developping the business. To do so they must focus on creating the conditions for the teams to communicate , work , learn, and improve in order to deliver results to the business.

Their role is to coordinate the team, to be aware of what is happening, to " dance " with them and make sure they are focused, aligned and mobilized .

Managing is an art. It is a wise balance between context and results, data and systems, process and content.
The manager is a chief conductor of the key issues are the business , strategy, operations and staff.

A leader / manager monitors two items:
- The Business: the market, the customers, the company , its products , services, the results ...
- The Teams : employees and managers, communication styles and work performance, culture, system and systems that govern its operation.

How do you manage the process?

What kind of manager are you?

What Equilibrium do you want for yourself ?

When last did you take the time to really be with an important person in your life?
Since when have you not been with a loved one, a partner, a spouse, a son, a daughter, your mother, your father .. in a magical moment of peace , connection , love ?
Maybe you live at a fast pace in which you are always running , rushing from one thing to another , with a pace in which you stay on the surface of things...

 Or perhaps it is the other way around...

 When was the last time you were speeded up, full of energy, enthusiastic, with plenty of ongoing projects and things to do ... ?
For how long have you been living in your head , thinking , imagining without getting into action ?
Maybe you live in a slowed down pace, in a routine , and you struggle to get into action, to get started, you live too much in your head, in your thoughts, in your sabotage ...

Where do see yourself most recently?
Where would you rather be?

How to get both ?
How to live a balance, inspired by your projects,  in action , trying , failing and getting on with it, consistently...
But taking moments when you get to stop, totally stop, and recover , nurture yourself , be with people , with your family , intimately, and take the time to enjoy your life.

What are you missing to achieve this balance ?
What do you want for yourself in 2014 ?

How to reconcile personal and professional dimensions?

There are many publications on areas for individual growth like personal development, leadership, personal branding...

Can these areas be compatible with having an stable position / a permanent role in a company?
Can one develop these personal aspects while having specific roles and responsibilities in a company?

Companies do their best at listening, caring, respecting and managing their collaborators. The way they do it does not always bring coherence between the personal and professional dimensions of a person.
Management in companies tends to speak, interact and motivate people just talking to their professional profile...
Is it enough ?

People are evolving and changing beings, their motivations vary with the contexts in which they evolve, the challenges they face, the overall environment that surrounds them...
Nothing is black nor white. Everyone has their ideas, beliefs and personality.
The mission of the company, of the manager, of the HR is to be able to create relationships that flow and contexts that perform. So that ... motivation, commitment and partnership between the company and the person can be win-win, open, flexible, results-oriented... So that it can contribute to both parties ....

This collaborator in front of you ... Have you ever connected with him/her... beyond their professional aspects ...?

Leave space for your collaborators, be curious beyond their current role or career and make an alliance with the whole person, not only with their professional and formatted avatar.

What do you think ?

Is pressure useful ?

 As a Manager or an Executive , do you put pressure on your collaborators ?
Is pressure useful ?

 The pressure that we can feel to achieve things, take challenges we have set to ourselves, win competitions, contests, races , learn, improve ... nourishes us physically and mentally, generates adrenaline. gives us energy .
 This pressure is about doing things that make sense to us, that we care about, that make scare us... This pressure allows us to be present , focused, connected , alive, to surpass ourselves, to go for it, go further. This pressure is healthy ...
 A sound pressure generated by our motivation, our ambition , our passion.
 This pressure is more than positive. It is constructive. It's refreshing. It is vital.

 But what happens if the pressure comes from outside, is "poured" on us?

 What if the pressure that is put on us has unrealistic , confusing goals? What if the environment is highly political , superficial? What if the management putting that pressure lacks confidence, is unable to trust or is manipulative...?
This other pressure is more negative .
Will it make us act? Yes, by coercion, by obligation, through fear.
In this case one has to live with this unhealthy pressure, suffer from it, be a victim of it ... It creates insecurity , anxiety.
It can be twisted , petty, can be malignant , paralysing ...

What do you think ?
Should managers put pressure?
If they do , how should they do it ?

How do you empower?

You are willing to fight for the company. You have always been. And you do fight...

But what about your team? Are they fighting at your side ?
Or you have the feeling that the pressure is mostly on you...

How do you empower people ?
How to get your collaborators to have an entrepreneurial spirit ?

Managing teams is a very subtle and balanced mix of inspiration, confidence , challenge, risk taking, rhythm, fluidity, intimacy, accountability, leadership...

If managers impose their vision and solutions too much on to their teams, it's difficult for them to:
- Fully understand everything that is going on,
- Get feedback, new ideas and innovations,
- Engage people

Team leaders have to accept everything that is going on in the team, everything present ... positive and constructive ... or negative and confrontational ....
Accept it and welcome it as possibly exceptional opportunities for learning, growth and performance...

Accepting uncertainty and risk taking will give them a new potential as leaders...
They will act more as a conductor putting in action everyone's talents rather than a hierarchical boss optimizing resources...

To do so, leaders need to inspire and trust rather than control. They must free rather than imprison.

Leaders need to be with the team, present, accessible, open and flexible, creating intimacy . They must connect with the teams with all their humanity and accept their own vulnerability as they accept their team members'...

What do you think ?
Are you willing to go for it? 
What do you need to do so?

How do you motivate others?

If you try to convince and motivate another person to undertake or do something, they may well not hear you, not pay attention to you and you may end up in a monologue.

If you try to motivate others or force them into action, you create force, generate friction, heating and energy waste. And you generally get the opposite result : tension, stress , stiffness , ... paralysis, or flight.

These tactics remind management models of the past.
Carrot and stick models, models of the industrial age . Models adapted and efficient for repetitive production , where on a daily basis it is not necessary to think , reflect and / or innovate.

In the XXI century, in Europe , this style is maladaptive and inefficient. It becomes anachronistic.

Motivation comes from within.
There is no such thing as Motivation forced from the outside ... this is pressure, coercion.

If you relate to a person and jointly create an alliance on which you can both rely and trust each other , you create the basis of a partnership . This partnership will allow two ( or more )people to exchange , give feedback , learn ,  support and challenge each other to achieve agreed goals. The conditions are met for two people to work in an open , flexible, ambitious , productive , winning alliance to achieve shared goals.

Then there may be motivation.

When we generalize to a team, The leaders needs to create a context for the team to work in confidence , be able to face the difficulties , for it to be open , flexible, motivated , ambitious , successful .

Do you succeed in developing these types of relationships with your employees, shareholders, colleagues , managers , customers, team ...?

How would you describe your working relationship ?
How do you motivate others?

Is uncertainty holding you back?

How do you deal with uncertainty?

How do you perceive it?

In an ideal world, we would all be able to gather all the information in detail, have the time to analyse it thoroughly before taking any decision.

This would allow to be totally cautious, efficient and performing in our decision making.

Unfortunately the outside world and conditions we experience are quite different.

First, it is never possible to gather all the information; some of it is not even rational and is linked with non tangible human, emotional or political aspects.

Second, you will never have time to gather it and analyse it in detail. There will always be a hidden part, an uncertainty in the middle of it...

How do you feel about this?

Are you perfectionist enough to feel bad about it?

Or are you comfortable with having a high level understanding and with acting from there?

In day to day life, there will always be more to it than you can perceive or understand. There will always be uncertainty. It is important to accept it and be cool about it.

Leadership is about getting around and deciding in complex and uncertain environments.

It’s about relying on your intuition, on all of your senses and abilities to do so.

It’s about accepting imperfection. About flowing with the elements.

And last but not least, it’s about acting, deciding, going for it, doing.

What about you?

How do live with uncertainty?  

Is uncertainty holding you back?

How do get on with it?

Quality or Excellence ?

The difference between a good quality of service and an excellent service  is minimal at an operational level but is huge in terms of customer experience.
It is in the attention, in the caring, in a detail, in the unspoken, in the non-verbal.
It is in the balance, in doing the right things without going over.

It is in the discretion, the connection, the intimacy, the respect. No overflow. No overreactions  No exuberance. The service is appropriate, adapted, adjusted, personalized, customized.

It is on being available, open, in proposing, in letting customers decide on their own, at their own pace, in their own way.
Not imposing, not invading, letting and respecting the space, distance, time the customer desires and requires...

The Excellent service listens, is flexible, on demand, is craftsmanship. It is not standard, automated or repetitive.

Excellence comes from within, comes from the people. It can only be delivered by people who are present, motivated, happy to be there, engaged and with values.
Excellence is passion.

How do you see your company's service level ?

Industrial or customized?
Good or Excellent?

How do customers see it?

Email me at info@autenticoach.com for more information on these questions... or to inquire how coaching can help you address your challenges

The executive, aligned with himself?

The ability of a company to be aligned between its strategy, management, organization and teams is essential to provide tangible and lasting results.

People always talk about aligning the organizations but forget an important foundation: that managers themselves need to feel aligned with their own values​​, ambitions and criteria in their role within the organization.

It's Okay to invest on programs for the development of competences and skills. It delivers interesting improvements and short-term results to the business.

But if the fundamentals of the person, if the construction bases of the leader are not identified, not clarified, not aligned for action,we may well miss the real growth potential for the people and for the business.

Let people speak for themselves as individuals, not just their functions or roles.

Allow people to be themselves in their roles, with their sensitivity, their abilities and experiences, their successes and their struggles.

Giving this permission provides added value. It allows each one to find the roles that suit them best and the ways to exercise them that are best aligned with who they are. … Generating better results and learning from it.

Do you get to work on these aspects?

Do you feel aligned in your role, in your position?

What about your team?

Individual and team coaching respond to these questions and needs and bring consistency and alignment to the people within the organization ...

Want to know more? Contact info@autenticoach.com

Leadership : Unclutter your mind

Beginners acquire new theories and techniques until their minds are cluttered with options.

Advanced students forget their many options. They allow the theories and techniques that they have learned to recede into the background.
Learn to unclutter your mind. Learn to simplify your work.

As you rely less on knowing just what to do, your work will become more direct and more powerful. You will discover that the quality of your consciousness is more potent than any technique or theory or interpretation.

Learn how fruitful the blocked group or individual suddenly becomes when you give up trying to do just the right thing.

The Tao of Leadership - Lao Tsu